sometimes i wish i am anorexic, or have an eating disorder, or even have a live tapeworm inside me.. anything to stop myself from nibbling too much or even better, just makes me lose kilos although i am eating too much. perhaps i should just burn the koko krunch and the whatever stuffs we have in the tidbit corner. i wish i have all the energy to run 3 km like zash does.. and she does it almost everyday. ohwells. random thoughts aside..

guess what..



it's only like FOUR more days before school reopens. hmm..



freaking 4 DAYS.. i can count the days with one hand!!
oh God.. there's this mixed emotions lurking inside me.
sadness, madness.. a whole lot of desperation.
what have i done this june holidays??

1. Sleep a lot - CHECK
2. Watch MTV, Asian Food Channel and Soundtrack Channel the whole day, taking breaks only to eat or go to the loo - CHECK
3. Eat everything i can possibly find in the kitchen- CHECK
4. Laze around - CHECK
5. Revision - NO
6. Study - NO
7. Homework - NO

ok maybe i am exaggerating. after all, i did managed to do fung's essay. but then again, that was only because he wants it during the holiday lesson itself.. and to think of it, i guess that doesn't exactly count because i woke up wee early.. like 5 hours before his 10 am lesson.. to finish the essay. so yeah.

i am officially doomed.

to top it all, all those suicidal feelings.. i am down with a flu. when i found out that scary movie 4 opens today.. i was overjoyed.. i asked hafiz if we could watch it together, if possible.. tonight.. but he cant. so yea.. the worst part was.. our conversation was filled with.. (direct translation from malay to english)

hafiz: why do you like to procrastinate? every single thing you procrastinate.. you didnt study, iron your uniform also you want to procrastinate"
sya: eh why are you getting mad just because of that?
hafiz: i'm not angry, i'm trying to be the good one here, asking you to study..
sya: blablablablabla..

in another conversation..

hafiz: do you want to take your alevels this year?
sya: why you asking me that?
hafiz: just answer me.
sya: yes la.
hafiz: then why...(this part onwards kind of not clear because i chose to NOT hear)

sighs. i guess that's enough reflection. i'm just gonna go kick myself now.