i so dig this new skin la. actually i had to choose between this another awesome skin, but nyeh. this cool aint it? heh. finally i downloaded the upbeat version of hard-fi's hard to beat and jason mraz's wordplay..wheee!.. and i finished my srp too.. not much for a "stay-home-all-day-monday", i guess i'll finish up my lit p1 tutorials today too. and not to mention the human geog essay assignment. TYPED. urgh. and the lit p1 essay too, and the econs notes, and the lit p8 annotations, and the econs mcq test. howells.

my parents are still mad, upset, angry and disappointed at me i guess. what to do. if i could turn back time, i will gladly do it.. and me, being the "opportunist" like dad said, i will definitely take advantage of the privilege i have. and of course im upset with myself too.. like which arse wouldnt right? after hours and hours of crying and reflecting, i guess i have to move on with life, and try to repent. the harsh words that my dad said really hurt me.. and though i know that he has the right to scold me, i feel that some words should not be spoken. somethings he said were true i cant deny that.. and im grateful that he didnt lay a finger on me cos if he did, i would be hurting not only emotionally but physically as well.

i dont know if its my luck or is it retribution for my wrong-doings, i seem to be having all sorts of problems with my parents. just a week ago, it was the hp bill and when things seemed to be picking up, this shit had to happen. i guess i just had to eff things up. so i'm gonna be good from now on. maybe i'll just blog all my frustrations.. how bout tt? thanks to fariz, riyah, zash, manan, keong and my sis for being there when i really needed someone to talk to. your pats on my back and your kind words really meant a lot and im grateful for all of that. and hafiz, though sometimes i cannot seem to understand the purpose of your actions.. i still need you sayang, im sure you know that.

hafiz went for a syarahan. good for him.. i hope he's doing great. he complained earlier that he was so tired from work.. aww. HAHA. wanted to write him a letter yesterday but got too tired. was it zash? who was surprised to hear that we are writing letters to each other. but i guess it is justifiable for us to be writing letters considering the fact that im now a jail bird; no handphone, no more cordless phone which means if i want to use the phone, i have to do it discreetly, and that i have to regain my parents' trust. hard life. SIGHS.

wani went to watch memoirs of a geisha with her bf. not tt im green cos i cant go out. i so want to watch the movie la. or at least buy me the book somebody.. frankly speaking, im better off reading the book, i dont think i want to watch a movie now. if everything was okae, i would have watched it with my council on friday.. sighs. but no point asking why. and to add to my misfortunes, im now down with a flu.. been sneezing my nose off and coughing since the day i got scolded.

i guess this is enough for one day.

ok time for some reflections for the day.

today i helped with the class decorations. wonderful la. FULLY satisfied.. and thus i hope the teachers are too. heh. we had hang baos pasted all over (the usuals), we had the dangling thingies at the door.. we had red cloth draping from the centre of the class.. i now worry for the geog lessons tmr, which are all before home tutor's period la. the teachers always use the projector and so i think the decorations are blocking it. hm..
ms low never come again today.. so we had two free periods which we used for decorating the class. i finally asked my daddy to sign the report card yesterday.. YES YES.. the report card for last year's promo results. i procrastinated.. so yeah. and we had our usual 3 periods of literature. by break time, i was exhausted. and there are so many lit assignments and tutorials to be done!! these things just kept coming..!!
and then after school and class decorations, we had the PAE Orientation meeting with the new council and we told them the committee.. i got cutie zuliana to be my administrative IC... and nadia, michelle and bryan in the committee.. im sure they'll do fine. they look like the serious batch. HahHAHAhah.. hmm anyways, congratulations to wei yew and nani ellen!
and at the end of the day, went home with SAYANG... although he was unusually quiet.. you know sometimes they say silence is golden.. although it doesnt apply to me, i think it suits hafiz.. cos he's 80% quiet and 20% noisy.. as in VERY NOISY. mahahhaha..

im burdened by some thoughts today.

riyah - ouh sayang, im so sorry for being very bitchy today.. pardon my attitude. anw, i think i irritated you with my constant teasings. i'll try not to disturb you that much okae. ahhaha.. i noe its a teeny weeny crush. LOLx. but you know.. i get very excited over these things.. and you know i'm always the last one to know all these things.. maybe cos ive not been spending much time with you guys.

joel and michelle - like i said earlier, nowadays im like always the last one to noe. howells. anyhoos, CONGRATULATIONS!!! im so happy for you both.. *smiles* ehem ehem.

ain - sayang, i just want to say i am here. i may not be the perfect friend that you wanted, but once again, i want to tell you that im always here.. and whenever you feel like talking, you know im always willing to listen. i dont want you to distance yourself from me. not now okaee.. love you loadsome..

hafiz sayang - sayang, im sorry for being PMSy these days.. i hope you can understand.
I LOVE YOU LOADSOME HONEY!!

i love myself. i finished my application question, and the econs mcq and the unbearable lit p8 essay. plus i did some housework over the weekend.
plus i downloaded some nice songs for my hearing pleasure. mahHAHahha.

i miss you lah darling!

tonight i am supposed to accompany darling AIN to chinatown for her mentor-mentee outing.
but i can't.
so sorry ain. i guess my parents think i ain't being a good girl lately. HAHA..

yesterday school ended at 12.45 pm and i was supposed to help the PAE logistic comm pack and count the og packages but as usual it didnt turn out as planned. most of us got cca and then even the log. head wasnt there so everybody got so damn lazy. tho, riyah, shan and i (and at some point, there were michelle, manan and zash) were talking about sooo many things. i didnt had time to absorb everything we were talking about. anw after hafiz finished his training, we went somewhere to get some air and a good talk.. :)

so many things has been happening. i wish i can just escape from the world sometimes.. like you know.. just run away from all these. and i feel so goddamn pressured.. some people are getting all serious abt studying. i think im being too relaxed here. DIE.. but its good that i have these friends to wake me up now and then. i can't exactly discipline myself to sit down and study sometimes.. that's the sad part.

i am looking forward to:-

1. CNY holidays next week.
2. Watch Memoirs Of a Geisha with them!! prolly arnd next week i guess..
3. Meet hafiz in msn tonight.. tonight..
4. Have my mentor sessions with Mr Eric Ng

i need to:-

1. Finish my econs mcq.
2. Do up Lit P8 Essay (which i seriously dont know how to)
3. Revise something?

ok i guess i gotto hit the books.

i love love love you dearest. *muahs*

PAE orientation has ended.. and so does our last project. i know its a bit too late to talk about it.. but i thought, might as well do it tonight.. since tmr is you know.. starting of SCHOOL for me.

so many things happened during the course of the project, stretching from december 2005 till the 6th of january 2006. the past few days were so eventful that i cannot possibly describe what happened within these few minutes of blogging. nevertheless, i still enjoyed myself.. i had always enjoyed busying myself with projects and spending time with my sc-mates (den-mates, according to mr chan.) studies were affected, that cannot be denied but still, i didnt mind sacrificing a bit of studying for sc. HAHA..
PAE had revolved around zash, manan, riyah, kai ling, liyun, hazwan, joel, michelle, tho, fiq, tee wei, kum, mowgli (shan darling), basitd, huda, faezah, kim, tiq, farid, mr cheng, the attendance lists, packaged food from kate's catering, cursing the FFFFFFFF syndrome, MI Dance, Cher's Dove L'Amore, the yellow supernovation shirt, 6.00 am bus-rides with manan and my sis, dancing, dancing and more dancing.
all this happens once and i know i will never ever be able to do this again. im grateful that i had enjoyed every second of it..

oh man, i am SOOO gonna miss all of that.




*heart* all of you 2nd MI SC/FL.

sometimes have you ever looked at someone and realise that actually you are no different?
ever listened to someone's problems and thought that maybe you are also having the same problems?
ever comfort someone and realise that you are actually comforting yourself too?

what do you do when you love someone so much but at same time, you know that you two cannot get along, no matter how much you tried?
what do you do when you start to realise that both of you are so different that its hard to relate to each other, right from the start?
how long can both of you compromise to each other and what happens when you decide to stop compromising?
when you compromise to each other and in some cases, change a bit of things here and there to accomodate to each other, does it also mean you're not exactly being true to yourself?

when you try to save a relationship, are you being strong and determined or just plain insecure and maybe scared to be alone after being with that someone for so long?

when you end the relationship, are you being evil and selfish, not taking into account the other party's feelings? or that, you feel that it's better to hurt him/her now rather than later when he/her gets too involved, when you both know that the relationship just cannot work?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.You cherish all of the details in life.Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtfulBut you also haven't stopped thinking of yourselfYou're the perfect blend of independent and caringYou're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Happy 2006 to everyone!! awww.. its the new year already..!

i bought myself a pink and black adidas SB! im so loving it.. and i bought a new pair of nike.. its white.. its nice.. MAHAHAHA..!
you, i think im tired.. and im getting paranoid over certain things... so im sorry if i overreacted at some point of time. i don't know what's gotten into me.. i get really upset when i start to snap at you.. please know that i dont intend to make things difficult for you.


i really really really love you dearest.