i hate being extremely emotional.
seriously.

i hate it when i start missing abdul hafiz,
then every song i'd listen to would remind me of him.
wth.

and he is sleeping soundly!!
he has totally no idea.

work is crazy.
crazy crazy.
I AM GOING CRAZY.

GOD, HELP ME.

frm friendster la as usual.

1.Is it cute when guys kiss you on your
forehead?
- yup cute. but usually i'll get pecks on the cheeks too. (=

2. A big poofy dress or a short party
dress?
- a big poofy dress, but with nice colours and layering plus, the right accessories la.

3. What would you do if you received a
long love letter?
- read it like 237462398041685784 times.

4. Group dates or single dates?
-i'd rather group dates. but single dates are best for special occasions.

5. Do you hate it when guys act
different around their friends?
-yea.

6. Are diamonds a girls best friend?
-my best friends are normal people. but diamonds are one of those things that makes me very happy. HAHAH..

7. Is your hair up or down today?
-always down.

8. Do you straighten your hair?
-yes.

9. Favorite mascara?
-faceshop glamour mascara: ultra volume.

10. Do you get your nails done?
-nope. but i would want to.

11. Small or large purses?
-small, compact.

12. In your purse, what are your must
haves?
-nets and ic!

13. Jeans or sweats?
-jeans.

14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry
thats uncomfortable?
-not at all.

15. Do you text message a lot?
-yea maybe.

16. What would you do if you got
pregnant?
-give birth to the baby when its time??

17. Whats your favorite color?
-colours can? pink, purple, black, white, brown.

18. Heels or flats?
-slippers.

19. Did you ever cry during a romantic
movie?
-always.

20. Would you ever leave the house
without make-up on?
-yeah, depends on where im going.

21. Walmart or Target?
-HUH?

22. Do you wear collared shirts?
-yea.

23. Do you like preppy boys?
-i like men.

24. Do you think lip gloss is the best!?
-i dont really wear much lipgloss. squidward hates it. although i have 3 of them in different shades.

25. Do you own any big sunglasses?
-I WANT!

26. How long does it take you to get
ready in the morning?
-about an hour.

27. Do you like to wear band-aids?
-if necessary.

28. Do you like skater boys?
-i like men.

29. Do you often wish there was
something you could change?
-yes. alot of things need changes.

30. Gold or silver?
-silver.

31. Do you like to receive flowers?
-depends on what type of flowers. ahaha.. i want a big stalk of sunflower though. i love sunflowers...*ehem*

32. Do you like surfer boys?
-i like men.

33. Do you dress up for the holidays?
-what holidays?

34. Do you like to wear dresseses?
-no.

35. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys
confuse you?
-actually they're easy to predict cos they're blunt and straight-forward. but when it comes to hafiz, its a 10.

36. In the last 48 hours have you hung
out with a guy?
-yes, mr squidward.

37. Would you date a guy shorter than
you?
-yes. height certainly doesnt matter.

38. Do you like to hold hands?
-yes.

39. What is the youngest you would date?
-nvr thought about tt.

40. What is the oldest you would date?
-dont know.

41. What do you notice when you first
meet a guy?
-hair. eyebrows. haha, dont ask me why.

42. Is it hott when guys sweat?
-without the smell, yes hot. with the smell, not hot.
but i love to smell squidward when he's sweating.
muahahahahah.

43. What is the best feature in a guy?
-his mannerism towards a woman.

44. Do you like making eye contact?
-depends on who im talking to.

46. Would you kill for chocolate?
-what type?

47. Did you ever spend all day/night
getting pretty for a guy?
-sometimes i spent alot of time dressing up. but certainly not all day.

48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is
shopping?
- 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000, but must have cash.

49. Do you freak out if you miss your
favorite show?
-no la. thats freaky.

50. Do you yell a lot?
-yea. ask hafiz. he kinda influence me.

51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to
school/work?
-i wish i could.

52. Have you ever dressed unlike
yourself to impress a guy?
-no lah. never something that im uncomfortable in.

53. Do you write a lot of mushy love
poems?
-used to.

54. What makeup could you not live w/
out?
- a few la! angelfit foundation in healthy ochre. maybelline's blusher in strawberry and the mascara plus ella eyelash curler.

55. Do you fall in love easily?
-no.

you know its weird to think of this question..
but when you're younger, ure parents or anybody for that matter will pop this qn:
"what do you want to be when you grow up?"
i dont know what kind of answers i used to give but im sure the most common ones are doctor la, lawyer la, teacher la.

so im thinking, if we were to be asked the same question now, at this stage..
im sure the answers would be totally different.
because recently i was thinking, really what do i want to be in life?

i told my sisters once, (and they in turn told my parents, who laughed at me)
that i would want to be a social worker,
to travel to poor or war-torn countries,
and help the poor.
well specifically, i told her sth like.. "aku nak jadi orang yang campak2 roti ke makanan dari helicopter.. kasi dorang makan."
translation: "i want to be the one in the helicopter, who would throw food ration down to them to eat."

so what do you think?

but anyway, i just got a job. (not a social worker job lah) weeee...
thank God. but i hope i wont be starting tomorrow.
its kind of a crucial day.
besides the fact that i desperately want to turn up for squidward's unit family day (and get free lanterns, play free games, get free lunch and step into chinese garden for the first time in my whole life),
it is also our two years anniversary!!
yes mr squidward and me...!!

so we are hoping that my employer meant it when he said that i have to come down for a briefing. and i hope briefing only. and i hope that it would end before 12.30 too. amin.

i mean, i really dont mind starting work immediately. its just that, like i mention, tomorrow is a freaking crucial day for me. and i find it abit weird to start work on a friday.
and then again, i hope this will turn out well. because i would not want to find another job, and job-hop.

anyhoos, happy 2 years anniversary laling.
send me to work tmr hor.
haha..!

i love you, hafiz. (i bet you are asleep now right! so much for msn!)
muah.

i have just bruised another person's feelings.

my reservations were right.
they are totally the same.
they make it so that,
every single shit in my blog counts.
and every word said or unsaid rather, can somehow make or break.

sometimes i wonder,
whether my own feelings are taken into account.
or am i completely nonchalant,
too indifferent to show the whole world that i can be affected too.
I CAN BE FUCKING AFFECTED ALRIGHT.
of course who wouldnt?
if there is another person who has replace your place now.
if you read about the other friend, the other girlfriend.
if there is someone out there who is apparently better than you.
if your own friend has a million friends out there whom are always mentioned of.

i don't know where i stand really.
i try to give them my best,
but they either push me away, or they expect more.
or worse, sometimes i feel like im being ignored.
so i wonder, am i needed now?
you dont need me right?
you have your other friends.

so now no matter what, im apologising anw.
and it is sincere because im rather pissed off by this behaviour of ours.
sorry i couldnt reply to ure sms.
in case you dont know,
i am using prepaid,
and when you have only $0.01 in your fucking prepaid,
5 cents counts ok.

and dont worry about me,
i am fine.
so you can go off with you other friends now.

i am so tired.
(just came back frm my cousin's engagement function)
seriously, engagement functions nowadays are no joke.
the preparation can tire you out like crazy...
i am tired like crazy.
and it is only an engagement function.
cannot imagine what the wedding will be like.

i am so missing my mr squidward.
HAHAHA!!
(ok, i just thought about the squidward photo, it is too squidwardy to be posted here.)
i bet he is sleeping now.

talking about sleeping..
i didnt had enough sleep ytd when i slept over at my cousin's place. because my two boy-cousins were SNORING, and it sounded like they had an amplifier on too. i managed to sleep at 2 plus after almost an hour of tossing and turning, only to be woken up by their amplified snoring at 3.30 am. it was rocking the house. and my head.

so i hope hafiz squidward is getting a good night sleep. (=
because mr squidward will get all red-eyed and super frumpy the next morning if he doesnt.

ok guess thats all for now.
have a great week..
i miss you sayang, hope to see you on the 7TH!!!