hafiz, say mousse.

dear all, i am waiting patiently for 18th december for the screening of twilight. despite all the hoohaa it has been causing in the internet.. the whole world is talking about it (shereen told me that jb is alr screening the movie), unfortunately here in sg we have to wait for more than half a month to get to see it in the movies!! im a real sucker for romantic movies, i admit.

went over to sitec at expo this morning with the family. we got a few things, including jojo's fashion show (which i predict, will occupy 1/4 of my holidays). my father wanted to get me this laptop tote bag, and i decline (i later realised how stupid i was) cos the one i wanted had no available stock and my father was pestering me to get the other one! so then i decide that its best not to waste his 80 bucks cos i secretly thought that the bag he chose for me was close to hideous. lol. the best part was actually the john little sales, where i got myself some lingerie and two dresses. i love shopping!! especially when my parents pay. haha!!

"i stared into his pretty brown eyes, and i fell in love with him for the 100th time.
i wanted to tell him: do you know that you're the best gift God has ever given me?
but the words wouldnt come out.
he doesnt believe me when i told him that i still feel speechless when he tells me he loves me."

i am disturbingly attracted to fancy and girly book covers. today at the library, i was hoping to borrow books that i dont normally read like thriller novels for example. but to my disappointment, i end up borrowing four love novels, not nora roberts though. phew.
i was dying of boredom with housework these past few days. so i was compiling of a list of things to do during this once in a lifetime long holidays that im having:-

1. watch twilight with the folks! (number one priority)
2. watch abit of anime
3. have a hell of a 21st birthday
4. play badminton more and hopefully shed some weight
5. beach, sentosa
6. drag aishah for ***** lessons
7. KARAOKE. how could i forget.

so ppl. plans plans!!!!!

before anything, i have to finish this thing. got tagged by aishah!

1. Do you have secrets?
- many many.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?
- depends exactly how young the person is. anw, my squidward claims he's 2 years older than me.. so this question abit irrelevant. lol.

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?
- as long as it takes. but depends la, if he's with somebody else.. then i dont want to ruin the relationship, IF you know what i mean. muahahahaha.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
- donate, give parents and sisters and aunty. then go marry. :)

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
- im already in love with ain. hahaha.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
- both. but i rather the latter.

7. List out 5 favourite things that you like and 3 things of yourself.
- chocolates, shoes and bags and clothes (hehe), spongebob squarepants, laptop, money (who doesnt love money right..)
- i have curly bouncy hair, i can cook whatever i want to eat and im friendly (i think)

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
- alot of things can make me happy. im a simple person, with simple needs and simple wants. lol.

10. What makes you sad?
- fight with bf, sister, mother/father. problems. many things also.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
- with a career, squidward and squiwardy kids (insyaAllah)

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
- many leh.

13. What is bothering you in life now?
- now? that im bored and broke.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
- how do you define poor? lol. i'd rather be married. but not the poor part.

15. What are the things you wanna do?
- right now, its getting my hands on all four stephenie meyer's books, enjoy my upcoming 21st birthday (haha), earn money to shop, wanna watch TWILIGHT!!! make things alright for everyone.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, and both of them do the same, who would you pick?
- i will pick the one who loves me in return.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
- yup, definitely.

18. How do you say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go ?
- cry abit, hug abit, kiss abit. spend more time with that someone.

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends,which will you choose?
- both. i wouldnt want to choose.

20. Will you fall in love soon?
- im in love, and always will be. (awwww.)

alrightey, those listed below must go and do this for me:

syakila
syazwani
dianah
ain
you

i thought i'll never say this, but but but, im done with major essay!!!
woooooooooohoooooooo.
but the bloody turnitin is pissing me off cos im 43% in the plagiarism bar. so i think i'll have to do a second draft.

note to self: tmr gotta start a.a's essay plus compile all materials for learning journal.

anw i think my thumb is freaking people out including myself. its nt healing and it looks as if a monster's gonna jump out of it soon. should i go to the doc?
its itching too. especially at night.

ohman, i didnt know that referencing can be this tedious. aaargh. gonna hit the sack. gotta drag myself out of bed tmr morning for mcilwaine's class. uurghh. and its at 9 am!

i didnt come to school today, just cos i feel like it. i told my mum that the lecturers are not gonna do anything. im going to skip school tmr too.. because i hate going for a.a's class. (:

things have not been better. dianah and shereen told me to chill and just concentrate on my essays now. ive managed to finish my character profile today (yeay!) and ive started on my major essay.. but i gave up on it minutes ago. 2500 words is still a loong way to go. and dianah told me to eat some chocolates.. haha. ive been stuffing myself with truffles and tim tam ever since.. i think ive eaten enough chocolates to gauge just how depressed i am. my sister and i planned to play badminton this late afternoon, but we ended up sleeping instead.. so expected.

and tmr she's gonna play soccer after her paper, syakila's going for her day camp, parents out to work, syarina and grandma at aunt's place. so im gonna be home alone.. and im gonna chiong on my essay. and make sure i get the first draft out tmr. work work work until i faint from exhaustion, then i wouldnt have to think of anything anymore.

i printed out a picture of us today. the picture we took at starbucks at one fullerton, when you accidentally spurted caramel frappe all over me. it turned out really nice i almost wish i could show you. i meant to do it weeks ago but ive never really gotten the time to print out at the Kodak machine. ive told you about it, i remember you telling me to just print the picture out using my printer and then i said i dont have the proper photo paper to print on. ive already clipped the picture to the pink heart-shaped photo holder i bought a month ago. it looks nice and pretty.. but i put it at the back of my wardrobe, with the back of the picture facing me.

i admit this week has not been the greatest of weeks. but im happy to say tt despite all that has been happening, ive managed to do some proper research today.. thanks to shereen for some enlightenment on media framing. i have four major assignments due in less than a week's time or so.. and i have not started on any of them.. not when your brain's still fuzzy from recent incidents..

met someone and friend today for lunch and ice cream. finally i had my kway teow at vivo banquet! thank you for the truffles. (: its my first time "truffling".. maybe i should tell you that im very depressed more often, then i'll get free truffles. hehe..

i believe that God wont give you any obstacles that you cant face. although sometimes you feel that the whole weight of the world is on your shoulder (eg. when you have four assignments due and your still gotta deal with your broken heart), you still gotta hold your ground. and the most important thing when dealing with problems is to appreciate the people whom you love most and those who love you in return. even if its just one person.

you will never realise what you've got till you've lost that someone.

shereen is right. its trauma. im still in shock.

i didnt know how it is possible to love and hate someone at the same time. until now. i didnt know that i can be this bruised.. im beyond anger and pain, i think its sth else. i still dont understand how a person can do such things to another whom he claims he love. i have so much to say, and the more im type, the more hurt i feel.


save us.

the reason why im still online at 1.38am on a thursday morning is cos i just finished my draft review (but have yet to print it) and i finally emailed a.a my proposed essay qn.

im excited right now. very excited. for the wrong reasons.
i feel like im gonna burst with excitement. i wanna scream. or hug and kiss somebody.
its been a long time since ive been this excited. but i like it. and i feel like slapping myself. sometimes when ure thinking of sth nice, u dont want to think of anything else. u just wanna drown yourself in your thoughts and then replay those thoughts for the rest of the night.

:) :) :) :)
:) :) :) :)

can we go together?